


Right Now I'm Not a Lady

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: AU, Androids, F/M, Genderswap, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a fill for a drabble request on AwaitingMassProduction: "Tetsuko/Black Tiger/Barnaby  Fluff and smut, please?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Now I'm Not a Lady

**Author's Note:**

> So… fluff and smut kind of turned to cracky smut immediately… and I hope I didn’t butcher Tetsuko horribly. I mean, she’d probably be a horny drunk, right?

How it had started could be argued. Even those meticulously-kept logs of Ebi’s wouldn’t be able to really pinpoint a moment when things went from casual to… a little bit more. It was all just silly and playful, hanging out together because… well, they did _work_ together. Even if it had taken a little convincing to get Barnaby to partake in a little drinking in his posh and still mostly barren apartment. Just enough drinking.  
  
At least, getting to the point where Tetsuko could sit in his lap without him protesting due to sheer misguided “politeness” in front of the android. That was definitely “just enough” alcohol, in her opinion. It was just fun to see Barnaby sway a little, to hear his oh so reasonable and well thought-out arguments being _not_ so much so for a time. He always got so tongue-tied when he was just on the drunk side of buzzed… and that tongue was definitely good for other things.  
  
Of course, they _did_ have an android watching. And closely, at that. “Ebi.” She wasn’t so far gone to forget to purse her lips a little, arch her back, look ever so innocent and ever so _not_ at the same time. Even if she probably looked kind of ridiculous to be doing all of that at once. Well, whatever. “Would you like to come closer?”  
  
The android tilted his head. “Closer?”  
  
“Just cozy on up over here and—”  
  
“There’s not room.” Barnaby interrupted. He already had a lapful of his partner, and on that one little chair it really did feel rather _full_ …  
  
“Uh- _huh_.” Tetsuko responded, perhaps showing just a little bit of how intoxicated she was herself. Not too much! Just enough to feel warm and happy. But she could feel happier. And warmer. “C’mon up behind me, Ebi.”  
  
“What?” The blond demanded, staring at the android as if that might stop him.  
  
For a second or two, the glare almost seemed to hold him in place. There was such a… curiosity, though. Distinctly new and different and interesting despite recognizing some signs and signals from research. “Will the chair hold my weight?” He asked, even as he approached.  
  
Barnaby definitely wasn’t completely in his “friendly drunk” phase. “It most certainly will n—”  
  
“Oh shush.” Tetsuko barged right into the protest. “You keep telling me how fancy and expensive everything is! It’s got to hold!”  
  
That was apparently enough reassurance for the android. He climbed on with full confidence, as if he _belonged_ there, straddling Barnaby’s legs right behind Tetsuko, the woman turning a bit and pulling him even _closer_ as best she could. “Okay, Bunny. Now show him how it’s done.”  
  
” _What?_ ” Despite the single word, the demand, it was that deepening blush that proved he did indeed have some idea of what the woman was talking about. “I don’t… uh…”  
  
Of course, even if it had been several minutes since she’d last taken a drink, that alcohol was still working its magic. Little things like remembering that Ebi didn’t know she and Barnaby had sometimes talked about him joining in while they were both lost in pleasure and just trying to turn each other on all the more were completely lost on a horny drunk. “C’mon, you know what to do. Here.” She all too helpfully demonstrated, grasping the blond’s hands and pressing them against her breasts.  
  
That blush just got more and more crimson. “T-that’s really inappropriate, Tetsuko…”  
  
“It’s not, and don’t listen to him.” She told Ebi with a little slur. “You have permission to touch me, okay? Do you understand?”  
  
“You are drunk.” The android pointed out. “This is not proper consent.”  
  
Tetsuko’s reaction managed to surprise both of them. How the hell she managed to _turn 180 degrees and embrace Ebi_ was totally beyond Barnaby’s comprehension, but for an “old woman” she could damn well flex and move. “Oh you sweet thing! That’s good! That’s exactly how you should treat a lady!” She exclaimed—then pulled back and took hold of either side of the android’s shirt collar. Her voice dropped. “But right now I’m not a lady. Got it?”  
  
 _Oh shit._ “Tetsuko…” Barnaby tried, softly.  
  
She ignored him. “Right now I am a horny, wanting _woman_ with _needs_ and I gotta get them fulfilled.”  
  
And despite his vast vocabulary, the dictionaries he held in several languages on his drives, the only thing that the android could truly respond with was, “Um.”  
  
“Yeah.” Barnaby sighed, feeling entirely too sober for the situation. He wouldn’t really be able to pretend that he didn’t remember it afterward. “She’s kind of serious about that.”  
  
“But this is not consent.” Ebi argued.  
  
“I’m _consenting_.” Tetsuko practically growled, taking the android’s hands and _shoving_ them against her breasts. “ _Squeeze. Now._ ”  
  
Well… it would be a new experience… Experimentally, the android squeezed.  
  
“Oh isn’t that precious.” The woman responded. “Bunny, show him.”  
  
Barnaby sighed, taking hold of Ebi’s hands and then squeezing hard—hard enough for Tetsuko to moan. “So, that’s… kind of… yeah.” He’d taken a breath, opened his mouth to explain that was just kind of how the woman _was_ … when she ground against him. Hard. Then it was the younger Hero’s turn to moan, instinctively squeezing Ebi’s hands, which in turn squeezed Tetsuko’s ample breasts, which resulted in an even louder moan.  
  
Oh. He _got_ it. At least, the android believed that some subtle, currently unexplainable part had fallen into place. It was fully him that time, giving a firm squeeze, accessing databases on several how-to texts. It was quite a bit more complicated when there was still clothing involved, but luckily finding those nipples wasn’t in the least bit difficult. Nor was cautiously pinching, squeezing, turning—  
  
And that resulted in a _flurry_ of movement, mostly of the woman’s hips. Hips that were being ever so firmly held and not in the least bit controlled by Barnaby, who was also doing his share of the moaning since every downward grind was just so perfectly suited to his cock even under the layers of fabric.  
  
It was fascinating, really. How such seemingly insignificant changes in sensation could lend to a feedback loop of pleasure, the results playing out before him. Ebi had intended to simply experiment more with the woman’s nipples when she threw her arms around him and _yanked_ him even closer, right up against her to allow her to grind into him as well.  
  
That was different. Not bad-different. It certainly didn’t seem to be for the humans, either; they seemed perfectly happy just to move their hips and moan. Well, maybe if he joined in and moved to their set rhythm while he gave those breasts another firm squeeze, pulling and twisting those hard nipples all the more…  
  
Yes. Yes, that was more interesting. The sounds were certainly louder, as well, movements more erratic and _faster_. Barnaby cried out sharply, grasping Tetsuko’s hips hard enough to bruise. It seemed those were just too many sensations for the woman to manage all at once, throwing her head back and shaking, moaning, very nearly _screaming_ out n pleasure—  
  
And then collapsing forward. Passed out. Ebi blinked.  
  
Barnaby was still gasping, trying to catch his breath. When he realized that the android was just holding Tetsuko upright, looking somehow very puzzled, his laugh sounded more like a wheeze. “That happens. A lot.” He explained as best he could, afterglow being so very good to him.  
  
“Oh.” The android really was at a loss for words regarding the experience. “Is it a ‘good thing’?”  
  
“Oh yeah.” The blond chuckled, lazily running a hand through his temporarily imperfect hair. “Hey, you didn’t… Can androids come?”  
  
“Come?” Ebi repeated.  
  
“Orgasm.” Barnaby made an attempt to clarify. “Can you?”  
  
“I am not certain.” Came the honest response.  
  
He had to wonder if being a horny drunk was contagious. “She’s probably going to sleep a while, so… want to find out?”


End file.
